


Secrets Not Worth Keeping

by GothicPixi



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Accidental Confession, Both being Gay, Davenport ranting and being upset, Found Family, Gay dads, Highport, IPRE Days, IPRE as Family - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Merle being great, Stolen Century Spoilers???, TAZ Balance, davenchurch - Freeform, how they get together?, the usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 02:07:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12571332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicPixi/pseuds/GothicPixi
Summary: On the Starblaster, there is a barely hidden space by the engine room, where Davenport goes to vent and Merle goes to read. One day, they happen to be there at the same time.Merle is quiet.Davenport is not.





	Secrets Not Worth Keeping

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: I come here when I want to be alone and I didn’t think anyone knew about it so where the hell did you come from??
> 
> ENJOY MY FAVORITE GAY DADS!

As mysterious as the bond engine was, it still required an engine room for maintenance. Barry or Davenport usually handled any physical repairs, while Lucretia sometimes sat and read her journals out loud. They didn’t know if it helped, but it surely didn’t hurt. That was usually near the beginning and end of every cycle, and after any major stunt. There was an unknown pocket of space by the engine room, a perfect alcove only accessible by a small person crawling through a hidden hole. Merle and Davenport were the only ones who could get to it, maybe one of the twins if they really tried. They wouldn’t, though.

 

Merle liked to disappear there sometimes, to read or study. There were times when he didn’t want to be distracted, or he was too out of it from another child’s death to be around the others. Merle was a peacemaker, but sometimes he was a peace seeker.

Davenport liked to disappear there sometimes, to rant and vent. He was the captain, he couldn’t let his crew see him breakdown. And sometimes they pissed him off, or the hunger pissed him off, or everything pissed him off. He found that space private and secluded enough that his crew wouldn't hear him if he went at the right time.

 

They both had been using that space for decades before they ended up using it together. Merle had been trying to read a new book in the kitchen, but Taako was using four different mixers (enchanted so he didn’t have to move them by hand) at the same time, so he couldn’t concentrate. He grumbled and waddled out, disappearing below deck. He had been huddled in the corner of his secret room, pillow tucked behind him, when he heard a voice.

 

“He fucking Jumped off of the ship and into the water! He didn’t know if it was deep enough to catch him, or if it was actually water, that buffoon!” Davenport angrily crawled into the room, standing and pacing in a haze. “Lup goes and drags Barry on some rowdy bar hop, coming back with magic headaches that last for over a week. Can’t get shit done like that. Cretia’s stock of journals is invading every fucking room on this ship, there are pens everywhere, you think she’d be the neat one. We cut it fucking close with this landing. This is a good cycle, but Pan damn if these kids are trying to make it more difficult.” Davenport paced back and forth by the entrance, not noticing the dwarf in the corner, book now bookmarked and closed.

 

“Fuck! It’s been decades. I signed up for this mission decades ago, this was Not in the description. I didn’t sign up to fight that giant vore cloud, or to basically be a dad to five fucking idiots. I never know where I am or what to do, but they can’t know that. I’m a captain. I’m there captain. I’m their dad now, one of them.” Tears were running down his face now and he briskly wiped them away. His pacing was wobbly as he shook. “How the hell did we get into this situation? Why us?” He sat on the floor, facing the entrance and away from Merle.

 

“Why is this the situation I have to be in? This beautiful disaster of a family, worlds collapsing. We’re just surrounded by dust.” He ran his hands along his legs, along the floor. “How can I do this for them? I’m not strong enough for this. Merle is so much stronger than I am, he’s so good at listening to the kids. They trust him and love him and seek him out. I’m just on the deck, driving. They don’t need me as much as they need him. I’m basically just a part of the ship.” His hands flew up in anger and desperation. “Merle’s a better man than me, I couldn’t be half the man he is. If we’re fathers, Pan, he’s definitely their favorite.” He ran his hands over his face.

 

“Pan, I love that man so much.” He lay down clumsily, eyes closed. “I love that man so so much and I can’t do anything about it. I’m the captain of this damn mission, I can’t break regulation like that.” He paused, sitting up suddenly. “But the people who made and enforce those regulations are long dead. Which is terrible, but there are only six other people who know those regulations. If I’m being honest, Taako, Magnus, and Merle never read those damn handbooks. I know they cheated off Barry during the quiz. They were perfectly qualified, I couldn’t let a simple thing disqualify them. They were resourceful, I couldn’t dock points for that. Lup ships us, I know that much. I heard her and Lucretia talking about it, which was fucking weird. Magnus and Barry are absolutely oblivious, but Taako has been giving me looks since before we fucking left. He knows, he knew before I knew. He’s not gonna talk to me about it, because Taako doesn’t fuck with emotions Ever. Why did I have to fall for Merle?! At least he won’t die like every other fucking person we’ve ever known, but Merle?! I couldn’t possibly do anything for that man, I’m a - what did Lup say? A...a-a twink! Dammit, I’m a hopeless, useless twink and Merle is the hunkiest damn dwarf I’ve ever seen. He puts flowers in his beard, how could I not like him!” Davenport began to stand again, rocking slightly on his knees.

 

“Could I tell him? Could I ever tell him? What if it doesn’t work out? Who knows how long we’ll be stuck in cycles! If it goes wrong, if it gets awkward, it wouldn’t just be us living with that forever. The kids, I couldn’t do that to the kids.” He sat on his feet, suddenly deep in thought. “I understand Barry completely now. Fuck, I don’t want to be as hopeless as Barry! I mean, Lup definitely likes that idiot, but Bluejeans is fucking blind.”

 

“He’s not the only person on this ship whose fucking blind.” Merle spoke up. Davenport fell forward in shock, scrambling to turn around. He was flush against the opposite wall as he stared at his intruder.

 

“How, how long have you been in here?” Davenport’s eyes were wide, body tense.

 

“I was in the middle of my book when you got here.” Merle lifted the novel as proof.

 

“Fuck.” Davenport mumbled, raking his hands over his face again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. How did you even find this place?”

 

“I’m not sure how, but I’ve been coming here for years. The kids can’t bother me here.”

 

“Big mood, yeah. I oversaw the construction of this ship, I’ve been coming here since day one.”

 

“I’d think you’d redecorate or somethin’, if you liked this room so much.” Davenport stood, crossing his arms and stepping closer to Merle.

 

“Merle, shut up. Honestly, stop avoiding the inevitable. You heard what I said.” Merle stood as well, stepping even closer. He pressed his hands along Davenport’s arms.

 

“So you love me, Dav. And you think I’m the better father.” He chuckled at the last part. “Only half of those statements I can share.”

 

“What?” Davenport tilted his head to the side, like a confused dog. “That doesn’t make sense, Merle.”

 

“I love you more and I’m not the better father.” He watched Davenport’s face turn red like their uniform jackets before continuing. “Dav, Barry goes to you with literally any question. You have wine and cheese night with Lucretia on the regular. You play board games with Magnus because he and me are the only ones who will play with you, you monster. You are the only other person Taako trusts with his kitchen tools without supervision. Besides her brother, you are the person Lup trusts the most. All these kids, all  _ our  _ kids, love and adore you to no end. They bother me because it’s easier, because it doesn’t put their lives or the ship on the line. They respect you, Dav, and look up to you. But they’re also worried. They’re so worried because you never break. It’s unnatural to not see you break, not after all of this. They’ve been talking to me about it - they thought you were bottling everything up, decades of pain and displeasure. Clearly, you’ve found a good place to air some grievances, but maybe talking it out with another person would be best. I’m always here for you, Dav. I love you so much.” His hands had migrated from Davenport’s arms to his face. The gnome leaned in to the touch.

 

“Merle, what if this doesn’t work out?”

 

“I will fight tooth and nail to make it, Dav. The Hunger couldn’t stop me. This feeling, it’s so strong, I don’t think it could ever fail. I have faith in us as much as I have faith in Pan, Davenport.” He put a hand on the gnome’s back and pulled him closer, flush against each other. “Won’t the kids get a kick out of this?” Davenport laughed.

 

“I think they have a bet going on.”

 

“Pretty sure no one will win if we get together right now.” Davenport thought for a moment, head rested on Merle’s shoulder.

 

“We’re in Lucretia’s time frame, I believe. Could be Magnus’s.” Merle chuckled.

 

“I wouldn’t be mad if they won. As long as it isn’t a twin.”

 

“They’d never stop bragging about it.” Davenport looked up at Merle and smiled. “Can I kiss you?” He whispered.

 

“Please.” So he did. The captain’s lips were as soft as Merle imagined they would be, flavored like his vanilla chapstick. Merle’s lips were chapped and tasted of his nasty vegan tea. It was perfectly imperfect. They were both glad they were in a secret room by the engine, or the rest of the IPRE gang would be hounding them and cheering. Next time.

 

They left together, Merle tucking his book away in the study before joining Davenport in his office/bedroom. They talked into the night, about everything and nothing. They sorted their relationship out, maybe kissed a little more. They set boundaries (few) and decided how they’d let the kids know. There were tears, laughter, a silencing spell so they wouldn’t wake up anyone at the late hour they got to. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, the door locked so they can control their announcement.

 

In the morning, Davenport left his room first, to make sure the kids were out and about. Luckily, it was early in a calm cycle, so they were all in the kitchen with breakfast cooking.

 

“Pancakes and bacon, Cap’nport.” Lup smiled lazily over her mug at him. He nodded, plucking a piece of bacon from the platter before Taako could slap his hand. He joined Lucretia, Barry, and Magnus at the table, taking the head seat. He whistled a short tune between bites of bacon and sips of the tea Lucretia passed him. 

 

“Good mood today, Cap’n?” Magnus smiled. Davenport eyed him and shrugged. Merle appeared a few minutes later, clad in his usual pajama pants and bare chest. He grabbed a cup of coffee before leaning against the captain’s chair.

 

“Say, Dav.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Who do you think will be happiest about the news?” This got the rest of the crew’s attention. Davenport put a hand to his chin, pretending to think.

 

“News? What news?” Taako’s hand was on his hip as he put down the spatula. Lup turned in her stool to eye the two older men.

 

“Lup and Lucretia, I’ll say. Want to bet on it?” Davenport looked up at Merle, who frowned.

 

“You got the better bet, but I’ll take it. I’ll say….hmmm, Magnus and Lucretia.”

 

“Why am I in both of these scenarios?” Lucretia raised her hand. Merle and Davenport chuckled, staring each other down.

 

“That’s our daughter.” Merle said, before leaning down and kissing his boyfriend square on the lips. As expected, there were gasps, cat calls, and wolf whistles. They noticed a few bills being passed around the kitchen. “Who won?” Merle wrapped an arm around Davenport as the gnome moved to sit on his lap so they could share a seat.

 

“Barold fucking Bluejeans.” Taako and Lup complained simultaneously, crossing their arms.

 

“Down to the cycle.” Lucretia added. “My section started next year, Magnus’s just ended.”

 

“Nice.” Davenport gave Barry a high five.

 

“Wait, wait. How’d it happen? We need the juicy details.” Magnus grinned at his dads.

 

“No juicy anything, please.” Taako quipped, bringing a heaping plate of pancakes to the table. “I don’t need those images in my beautiful brain.”

 

“Koko, don’t make Cretia have to write fanfiction in her journals. Details! Details!” Lup chanted, quickly joined by Magnus.

 

“I would never write fanfiction about my fathers.” Lucretia flushed, taking a few pancakes from the stack and adding blueberries.

 

“I overheard Dav ranting away about a lot of problems - mostly you kids, by the way - and one thing led to another.” Merle shrugged. Davenport passed him a full plate. “Thanks.”

 

“How are you already mega-domestic, picturesque gay dads?” Taako gestured wildly at them.

 

“It’s a dream come true.”


End file.
